Sense of the Self: Vicky Desai
(by Team SAMAKSH)
This post is part of our weekly series “What’s Your KAHAANI?”, in which we explore the transformational journeys of people reclaiming their inner power.
“Are you Vicky or Weaky?”
The words stung more than Vicky cared to admit. Not because they were new, but because they were familiar. Far too familiar.
The Invisible Battle Behind a Title
Vikram Desai—“Vicky” to his family and colleagues—was average on paper.
An IIT-Mumbai graduate with a stellar career in product management, a short course in Product Strategy from his alma mater, and ten years of impactful work in Bangalore’s buzzing tech ecosystem. He led a team of 35. His name had just been added to the shortlist for Senior VP – Product Development at SHW Tech Infra.
And yet… something inside didn’t sit right. When his promotion panel was announced—a 3-stage interview with the CTO, CHRO, and the CEO—Vicky didn’t feel proud. He felt panic.
That same tightness in his chest. That same voice in his head: “You don’t belong here.” “They’re going to see through you.” “You’re still that boy they bullied.”
A Childhood of Silent Scars
Vicky’s story began in a wealthy Gujarati business family where success was measured in noise and dominance.
His older brother, ten years senior, had no time for him. The domestic staff treated him as a burden. His cousins bullied him. Even a 9-year-old playdate ended in humiliation when visiting kids slapped him, tore his shirt, and threatened silence. Vicky never told anyone. Not his parents. Not a soul.
At school, it was no different. Nerdy. Meek. Teased. His only friends? Books. And his cat.
He survived through academic excellence. Cracked the IIT-JEE. Landed the first job from campus. Moved to Bangalore. Built a name for himself quietly.
But no matter how far he climbed professionally, emotionally, he remained stuck in that lonely drawing room, that dark school corridor, that moment of helpless silence.
His inner voice wasn’t his—it was theirs. “You are weak. You don’t belong.”
The Breaking Point
The day before his promotion interview, Vicky took a day off and drove to Turahalli Forest, craving solitude.
He found a secluded spot, sat in silence, and wept. “What’s the point? No one sees me. No one likes me. Why should I lead anyone?”
An Unexpected Encounter: Coach Suri
“You don’t look Weaky to me,” came a deep voice beside him.
Startled, Vicky turned. A retired army man in trekking boots sat beside him—Surendran, or “Suri” as he introduced himself.
“I coach leaders like you,” he smiled. “And I charge a bomb. But for you, I’ll do it for a cup of filter coffee. Only after you’re satisfied.” Vicky stayed.
And for the first time, he shared everything: the childhood bullying, the internalized shame, the constant fear of being exposed.
Naming the Wounds
Coach Suri listened intently, then broke it down: “Vicky, these aren’t personality flaws. These are unaddressed emotional patterns. Let me show you what’s really happening.”
1. Underutilized Potential
You’ve doubted yourself for so long that you don’t even see your achievements as real. Self-doubt blurs vision.
2. Low Self-Awareness
You don’t realize how much power you give others over your feelings. You absorb, don’t question.
3. Low Self-Regulation
You’re running on autopilot, bottling everything in—then crashing when it leaks out.
4. Lack of Purpose
You work hard, but don’t know why. There’s no inner compass. Only fear and external expectations.
5. Overthinking and Fear of Failure
You replay every risk a thousand times, paralyzing action. Safety over significance.
6. Misalignment
Your values, goals, and behaviors aren’t in sync. You’ve built a life on survival, not self-expression.
Realignment with the Self: The Inner Compass
Suri handed him a small notebook and wrote four letters: N.E.W.S. “This is your compass, son. It’ll guide you from noise to clarity.”
✦ N – Navigate Your Narrative
From ‘I’m not enough’ to ‘I’m already capable.’ Rewrite the story in your head. That’s the real battlefield.
✦ E – Embody Your Energy
Notice how you show up. Tension in your body is tension in your team. Your inner state affects your outer presence.
✦ W – Witness Your Whispers
Listen to the quiet voice inside. Not the loud critic, but the whisper that knows your truth. Tune into it.
✦ S – Stand in Your Strength
You’ve survived bullying, built your career, and risen against the odds. That’s not weakness. That’s grit. Anchor in it.
The Shift
One month later, Vicky walked into that interview panel with steady hands and sharp answers.
He didn’t over-explain. He didn’t shrink. He got the job.
More than that, he began to feel like he belonged. And slowly, others treated him that way, too.
“So, what do you say now when someone tries to bully you?” asked Coach Suri later.
Vicky smiled. “I say: ‘This is my story. I get to write it.”
Your KAHAANI, Too
Vicky’s story isn’t unique. It’s universal. Many high-achieving professionals walk through life carrying silent wounds. From the outside, they’re thriving. Inside, they’re just surviving.
Your Turn: What’s Your KAHAANI?
Are you living your story — or letting old narratives hold you back? What would change if you said no more often, not just to others, but to distractions, fears, or self-doubt?
“The most powerful transformation is not about becoming someone else, but remembering who you truly are.”
Reflect on your KAHAANI this week.
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Let’s realign your inner compass — and help you lead with purpose, clarity, and strength. DM “Inner Harmony” to begin your journey.
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