Managing Passive-Aggressiveness at Work

Managing Passive-Aggressiveness at Work

At SAMAKSH, we often tell our clients that ‘ANGER’ is our CORE EMOTION and it need not be controlled. What needs to be controlled, however, is the intensity of your anger.

Anger is nothing but a result of suppressing ourselves. Many of us have also used it as a tool to control people, get things done and create fear and chaos. Typically, all those who use anger to create fear are people who aren’t willing to accept their own fears so their motto is before you attack – I will attack you!

Like any other emotion, it too is trying to send out a message to us – TAKE CHARGE! It is asking us to take charge of ourselves and our life. If we do not speak for ourselves, then we start feeling hopeless and sad. We then get into the victim zone and start blaming the world for our problems.

There are many types of ANGER (mainly behavioural traits).

1. Passive-Aggressive Anger
2. Behavioural Anger
3. Chronic Anger
4. Self-abusive Anger

This post is only about the first type of anger.

Traits of Passive-Aggressiveness  (45% of the world population falls under this category)

• Patterns of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them.
• Someone who uses passive aggression may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated, but they act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful.
• Ignoring instructions from seniors
• Not responding to e-mails and calls
• Being late for meetings or forgetting about meetings
• Procrastinating work
• Being stubborn about their views
• Playing the VICTIM card
• Blaming the world for their problems

As a leader, this is how you could help someone overcome their Passive-Aggressive behavior

• Observe behaviours of your colleagues and how it is impacting their work and the team, in general.
• Talk to them in private and get them to open up about challenges they are facing at work
• Help them identify triggers for their anger – people or situation
• Support them on building their self-confidence. Perhaps, get them to take baby steps – doing 1 thing a day to make them feel confident
• Enable them to become aware of their VICTIM position
• Encourage them to take charge of their life and situation
• Allow them to make mistakes and teach them how to learn from those mistakes
• Help them prioritize their tasks – do this for a month and see the change in the way they work.

It may take you a while for bringing about changes in them, but it will be worth the effort!