Heal your pain, not your relations!
****Disclaimer: Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents mentioned in this post are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.******
It was raining cats and dogs and all northbound trains were delayed. Ron was the only soul at the station with a suitcase. As he was wiping his tears off his face, he saw a card on the station bench. He picked it up and this is what it read “Do you feel like a victim of poor relations? Do you feel like you have terrible relatives who have made your life miserable? Do you wish to come out of that relationship and live a peaceful life without any guilt? If yes, then come and see me tomorrow 1000 IST. Coordinates mentioned below.”
Ron: Excuse me, can I come in? I found this card, and I came here to meet Mr. Healer
Mr. Healer: I was expecting you, Ron. Why don’t you sit down?
Ron: Who are you? What do you know about me? Why am I even here?
Mr. Healer: I can understand your restlessness. I am Mr. Healer and let’s just say I have my radar everywhere. It starts beeping every time it senses emotional pain, Ron.
Ron: What?
Mr. Healer: You are a victim of a toxic relationship, Ron and you need to take control of your life before its tool late!
Ron: Toxic relations? Never heard that word but I got hooked onto it. Yes, I am tired of being with my uncle. Can you help? God, I don’t even know what I am doing!
Mr. Healer: I have healed many people, Ron. That’s my job. I can help you as well. Go ahead and tell me your story.
Ron took a deep breath and narrated how Uncle Pat had ruined his life after he had lost his parents at the age of 14. To the world he was his “foster” father but back at home he was no less than a tyrant. Uncle Pat and his family ridiculed and humiliated Ron. They commented on his every move and made him feel inferior. Ron was no less than a doormat, and he chose that life. He thought it was better to live like a doormat than to rebel against his wicked uncle. Many a times, he thought of committing suicide but couldn’t gather the courage to end his life.
Ron tried his best to move out of his uncle’s home but other relatives mocked at him for misbehaving with the only man who took care of him. He has no option but to continue living under the obligation and live under constant fear.
Mr. Healer: Thank you for sharing your story Ron. I can feel your pain Ron.
Ron: Thank you for listening. Give me some ideas on how I can heal my relationship with uncle Pat.
Mr. Healer: Ron, heal your Pain, not your relationship with Uncle Pat!
How do you identify toxic relationships?
Toxic relations will often cause you pain, make you feel inferior and ridicule you at every stage of your life. Such people have a negative energy and derive sadistic pleasure by making others feel weak and vulnerable.
What are the implications of being in a toxic relationship?
If you are in a toxic relationship (blood relations, partner, wife/husband) then you may experience any of these:
– Constantly feel angry and irritable
– Tendency to eat and/or drink excessively
– Low on concentration
– May have suicidal thoughts
– Feel cranky
How do you heal your pain?
The best thing to do is to break ties with such people and follow these simple techniques to heal your pain:
Acknowledge your pain: it is essential you acknowledge that you are in deep pain. It is this awareness that will enable you to connect with your deep pain and help you move on.
Act it out: the next step will be to act it out by connecting with your pain. If you feel angry then get it out of your system. If you feel like crying then get into a room and weep like a baby. It is essential you connect with your emotions. Catharsis is your key to unlock your bottled emotions!
Write a letter: write a letter to the one who hurt you the most. Do not give the letter to them – you could either burn those pages or flush it down the toilet. This is the best therapy ever! I have often written letters to all my toxic relations and then flushed it down – I felt rejuvenated! (Try it out!)
End the relationship: the last step in this process would be to meet the person who causes you misery. Share your feelings with the person, and tell you do not wish to continue your relations with him/her. Its best to part ways by giving them a last hug!
Ron: Wow! That sounds inspirational! I will follow these steps to heal my pain! I kept my promise Mr. Healer, and now its your turn to reveal your true identity.
Mr. Healer: Do try these steps and call me back with some positive updates. It is a slow process and you will need time to heal your pain!
Ron: Alright but my question still remains unanswered!
Mr. Healer: Who am I? Let’s just say that I am your friendly mental health professional!
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