Emotional Hygiene: Navigating Relationships at Work and Home
Let me share a story of someone I know. Let’s call them Deepak and Jyoti! It was a lovely Wednesday, and both were excited about their day. Deepak, a Senior Business Analyst with a Tech conglomerate, had a crucial meeting with senior leadership, presenting findings for important financial decisions. He felt a mix of nervousness, anxiety, and excitement.
Jyoti, the CHRO in a Fintech company, had a 2-day in-house Offsite with her senior leadership and global leaders. She approached life with balance, reflecting on her thoughts and speaking her mind. In contrast, Deepak, shy, introverted, and temperamental, struggled to convey his emotions and often lost his temper.
That day, he had to drop their 5-year-old son at school as Jyoti had to leave early for the offsite. She had been telling him about this since the morning, ultimately he lost his cool, “Jyo, I am already stressed about my meeting. I am busy today and just don’t have the time. Plus, its your turn to drop him off at the school – weren’t you aware of my BIG presentation today?”
Jyoti calmly responded, “I am aware of your presentation, if you remember, I have to leave early today for my offsite by 7:30 and his school starts at 9. Why is this such a big deal to you? It’s on your way and you just need to drop him off!”.
“Listen Jyoti ji, you are the CHRO of your company and your CEO wouldn’t reprimand you for being late. I am just a regular guy, perhaps two levels below you – don’t you understand that! What’s the use of you being a CHRO when you don’t understand my role in my company!” Jyoti was stunned, she picked up her bag, turned around, and said “If you only had the courage to take up the seniority role that had come your way Mr. Business Analyst – but perhaps, you are happy being where you are. Accept it and move on! I don’t want to get into this mess now, talk to you later!” she left upon saying this.
The meeting for Deepak did not go well; he was distracted by the painful comments and struggled to speak up. The Board and CEO were critical. Jyoti, while unhappy with her response, didn’t let it impact her offsite performance.
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Haven’t we all been in this situation at home or at work – where we say hurtful things even when we don’t mean to? Then we carry those feelings with us and either get into the guilt mode or we react aggressively.
Here are some Practical tips we all could follow to practice Emotional Hygiene at Work and at Home:
- Focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot
- Speak up for yourself and share your thoughts
- Cultivate self-awareness to know yourself inside-out:
- Keep a journal to track your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to different situations.
- Seek feedback from trusted friends or mentors to gain insights into your blind spots and areas for growth.
- Reflect on your thoughts and emotions – this will help you respond instead of reacting:
- Pause before responding to emotionally charged situations to collect your thoughts and choose your words carefully.
- Practice active listening techniques to fully understand others’ perspectives before formulating a response.
- Talk and sort things out:
- Initiate open and honest conversations with the people involved to address misunderstandings or conflicts.
- Practice empathy by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and actively listening to their perspective without judgment.
- Express emotions in a healthy way:
- Name, Feel, Express – Name your emotions and feelings and healthily express them.
- Seek support from an Emotional Wellbeing Catalyst or Counselor if you’re struggling to manage your emotions effectively
Incorporating these practical tips into your daily routine can help foster emotional hygiene and improve your overall well-being and relationships.
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I can facilitate a 90-minute work talk titled Nourishing Your Mind: 7 Strategies to Practice the Art of Emotional Hygiene. Reach out to me at akshaym@samakshwellness.com to know more!
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